I just farted. hurhurhurhur

I went on this church group thing last night. It was pretty cool. Hahha. we were like... army men...and we ran around looking for treasure. hah.

Cramps. No me gusta.

Kim esta TIRED. Kim no le gusta Key Club. Kim no le gusta WORK. Kim no le gusta MANUAL LABOR. Kim no le gusta SCHOOL. Kim no le gusta STUDYING.

Nick me manque.

Kim is tired. Kim hates Key Club. Kim hates work. Kim hates manual labor. Kim hates school. Kim hates studying. Kim misses Nick. :(

Don'tquestion.Justaccept.

I love how I never do anything while I'm at school. Haha. Actually, I WAS doing something. I finished reading Acts I and II of Hamlet and I wrote an AP essay. I suppose I do do stuff. But yanno. Sometimes I just find time to write in here.

Actually. I do need the audience's help. (If one exists). What do you think I should write about on my college essays? That my parents got divorced? (Interesting because a brother I never knew existed appeared on my door about a year ago).... About my amazing Key Club antics? (Oh yes. Amazing.)... Perhaps I should talk about my entrepreneuring? (Yanno.. Mad bank)... Of course. I could talk about ALL of it... But.. Could I fit that in two pages? Sigh. I do not know.. HELP!

I'm horrible at writing.

find beauty in words
find the beauty in my soul
you cannot, can you

i am a lost cause
leave me now and dont turn back
love tastes bittersweet

pseudo intellect
thrive on the stupidity
of the ignorant

pseudo intellect
listening to it brings pain
just keep the mouth shut

pseudo intellect
that which i am bugs me most
fake. i know i am.

Bittersweet emotion
Strange aftertaste
They say go go
Don't let it waste
Reach him I cant
Touch him, I wish
To see his smile?
Simply devilish
Must have him soon
Now or never
I want him now
Yes. Forever

Hasty decisions
My heart can fool
Only me, not you
My feelings null
Sweet nothings, please
Today's order
Strange whisperings
"I can't afford her"
I don't want it
Turn away now
Don't make a scene
Don't speak out loud
Never question
Just accept it
Inevitable

This heartbreak shit

I can't tell who I talk about more. Nick, or Katie? Probably Nick. I love Katie though.

I'm beginning to think I should make a "cast list" of the people involved in my life... so people can get an overview of the people I'm talking about before I plunge directly into my talking about them.

I talked to Mike. We no longer click. What is wrong? I do not know. Does he not like ME anymore? Or do I not feel his vibe anymore?... I've never felt a vibe from Nick... But that doesn't stop me from liking him. I no longer feel a vibe from Mike -- that makes me feel less interested... Strange. Mike... hm. He's a great guy.

I find myself having weeks where nobody likes me. And then those weeks where everybody likes me. This week is the former.

Poor Nick... He's having problems with his program. I remember those days. Ahh.. Those programming days. Indeed. That was nuts back in the day when the program was due the next day... And I hadn't read the handout... "We had a program due? What program?"... And I know... There's nothing I can say that will make him feel better. In fact... It's common knowlege (well, at least in my case) that during coding of ANY kind...Human contact in any way shape or form is EXTREMELY irritating.

Am I the only one who reads my own blog to see what's going on in my life? :P

Dude... Nick is the bestest.. I called him today.. and I was like "Hey.. are you busy?" and he was like "Well..." I was like "Oh no.. He's gotta go..." and then he said... "Not for you.." I was dying! Ahh! He's sooo beyond sweet. >_< That is the ultimate evil.

Key Club is so superior. People need to recognize.

Blogging is the best kind of therapy there is. I do not know of any day that has been truly bad in which I have blogged. I love blogger.com.

I've become impotent. I could have gotten some today. In fact... I kind of did... But my heart wasn't into it. I don't know... All I could think about was like... "I got to get over Nick sometime... I guess"... and then... "This isn't right..."... Yeah... Before.. any other time and I would have jumped at the oportunity for some... Now, it doesn't even appeal to me.

I remember when I "liked" Kha... I would tell him about how hot i thought other guys are and stuff... and he was telling me about how when I found the person that I really cared for, I wouldn't even look at other guys... and it would be involuntary...

Haha.. I finally understand what he meant.

My tummy hurts. I ate 4 ramens and now it feels like a brick of lard.

Aww~! Katie made this for me for my icon! :) She's the sweetest girl in the whole wide world. :*) Awwww. hahahahahahaha. Thank you Katie... :P You always make me sMioo... I think I'm in that sentimental stage of the month. :T

Mike once asked me what I see in Nick. What made him so special. I couldn't answer. I tried really hard to reply. I could only repeat "He's just... perfect?"... What makes him different? How could I explain to Mike it was the tone of his voice... The choice of his words... The smile I so vividly remember... The perfect replies to my ramblings... The late-night talks... So many things and so little that make me think about him all the time, yet make it seem incredibly silly. :T

I have a lot of sexual tension. Only... I dont think anybody can cure it. Except for maybe Nick. It's hard having sexual tension and the only cure a thousand miles away. I hate him. I love him. hahaha. :) Well. I don't love. I don't think I do anyhow. I hope I don't love him. Though sometimes I wonder exactly what love is supposed to feel like.

I wonder I wonder.

Whoa.. hahaha... I re-did my site. YES. I am cool. Took my SATs today... Yeah. I've decided that I hate my math teacher's son. Indeed. Sigh. Why do so many people know Mike Kim? its nuts. Hmph.

I feel insulted. Percy de-linked me. Lets see what happens when I re-do MY site. :T

memoirs. good word.

Gosh... Ahh. :D Just got off the phone with Nick. I swear. His voice is like. The epitome of perfection. Aish!

Heh... I'm at the computer at school right now. Strange. Java seems to not work too well in here. Perhaps just the scripting. Hm. Everything feels a tad bit.. squished...

I miss Nick. :) I talked to him last night, though. Aish. I was so boring. I hate those nights when I KNOW im boring and I can't do anything about it! SIGH!

Yep...

I'm considering bringing an umbrella. That would mean extra weight, though. I'm not too keen on that.

Its still dark. At least its not raining. :T Bleeeeeh.

It's really rainy and dark outside. I can't wait to go to school. Yay.

RFTC was so fun! even though I'm sick. :) At one point, there was a Kim sandwich type thing going on hehhe.

GAaaaahHH~ SOMEBODY ON PERCY'S QLIQUE THINGIE HAS MY BIRTHDAY ON THEIR NAME~!! BLASPHEMY!!!

Percy, your site would be PRICELESS. :) Plus.. Don't be depressed about your counter... That just shows that everyone who goes only has to go once because they get so absorbed and read all of it in one day.. instead of a succession of going there and coming back. hehehe. :P i dunno.. HAHAHA It's 6 AM. Leave me alone! HAhaahahha

I wonder if there are people who actually read my blog regularly besides Katie and Percy Hahaha. :)

It's kinda sad when a guy on your binder becomes more popular than you...

Yet.. It's true. Nick is the buzz at my school...simply because so many have caught a glimpse of him on my binder and MUST KNOW "who that hot guy on your binder?" or even the other girls that mob me and say "I heard you had a HOT GUY on your binder!" . . . To that I say... BLEEEH!! To nick.. HAHA :) Damn you for being so hot.

You may be wondering what pictures are on my binder...well.. it's...(click on the pics to get big ones)


Gosh ... He IS foine.. What am I thinking. Hahhaa. :) But yeah... Its like.. 6 AM right now... and I just found out that my 6:40 ride isn't coming today so I get another hour of sleep. Ahhh. Bliss. :D

Love
Kim.

Haha.. ok.. i went to bed at like 5 aM yesterday.. so im gonna go take a nap now. :D love yah!! Haha! Visit the Blair Nick Project

YaY! I just got off the phone with Nick... We talked for like an hour total on the phone! =D Gah! He's the bestestestestest!!

Wah... I want to like other guys... I try to like other guys... And I DO like them... don't get me wrong...

But for some reason, Nick presides over all others. No matter how hard I try not to think about him or mention him or even not feel GUILTY for wanting to like other guys (dude... we're not even close to being together... ahhaha.. I don't even know if he likes me like that...) I like... Can't. Haha. Plain and simple. Bleh! Ok gotta go do HW before Nick calls me back. :)