January 16, 2005

Working with Women

Ok, so I've always been a total nerd and I haven't had many jobs where I've had to work with other people. On top of that, most of my jobs have been tech jobs in which I have zero contact with women. --There are times when I am the only girl in the entire company.

I can only remember one other job before now in which I had to have a lot of contact with women. During the summer between senior year and college, because of some weird rebellion I had against my mom I worked at Forever 21, girly clothing store. That lasted a good two weeks. I came, I gave my two weeks, I left.

I cannot FUCKING stand working with women.

I recently began a job for a parking and transportation department. (Think parking permits and citations).

The setup at my new job is as follows: I work in the back with all the tech guys. The rest of the office is virtually all women.

I have a lot of shit to gripe about.

1. What the FUCK is up with the incessant bitching?!

OK, bitches! Listen up! We work in a workplace with CUBICLES -- not walls. EVERYTHING you say carries over the cubicles and can be heard by everybody else in the whole office. That is why people reply to you from the other side of the office.

But WHY, WHYYY do you insist, when something even half interesting happens, to yell your story to the person in the cubicle next to you... and then, if the whole office hasn't come over to bitch about it with you, you go to the NEXT cubicle to fucking tell the SAME exact story again?

The other day I was sitting there and I swear, I heard the same bitching (I COUNTED) 7 times! WHAT ... THE ... FUCK?

I thought I was going to gouge my eyes out. If I had testicles, I would have cut them off by the 4th incantation of the bitch attack.

2. It's JUST PARKING. Stop taking this shit so seriously!

Seriously. Every day I work, at least once, there is a convergence of people in some place in the office [ALWAYS at least 5-1 women-men] where they're arguing -- like REALLY arguing, yelling, getting frustrated -- over parking policies.

COME ON. What the fuck -- OK, seriously, it's not REALLY going to make a big difference if you change the fucking permit color, or make it so that certain people can only park in certain places. People will live on. FUCK.

STOP MAKING YOURSELF FEEL LIKE YOUR JOB IS IMPORTANT!

3. STFU!!

Finally, STOP using office hour time to fucking call your kids, all your fucking friends, and anyone who might remotely want to listen to you. Once again, I point out we work in a cubicle environment! It's OK to talk on the phone once in a while, especially if it's an emergency, but fucking SHIT. While I'm designing or programming I don't want to FUCKING hear about what time you put your KIDS to bed or what you think that your friend SALLY should do with her FUCKING boyfriend.

....
Bitching in the workplace should be a punishable act.

Let's have a vote:

Who thinks that people should be punished for excessive bitching in the workplace? Raise your hands high, people!

:raises hand:

On a brighter note, I went to the LA Auto Show today with some friends. The picture below sums up the day pretty much.

Incidentally, I gave her my card, told her she should become a model and that I would make her website. I hope she comes to my page. Really.

Posted by Kim at 05:52 PM | Comments (9)

January 02, 2005

True Story [a diet]

A few months back I was trying out a new diet. It wasn't really a diet, but more like a change of eating style. I was eating about 10 "meals" a day in fairly small proportions (carrots, an apple, a bowl of rice, etc.)

So the result of this 'diet' was that I felt hungry ALL the time. Seriously, trying to curb your hunger for dinner by eating 10 carrot sticks really does not work that well.

Anyhow, one day I was just chillin at home in front of my computer when my stomach started feeling funny.

"My stomach feels funny," I thought to myself, "it must be hunger."

So I proceeded to eat some carrots. This didn't ease the feeling in my stomach, so I thought, "Maybe I have to go poo."

At this thought, I tried my best to take a shit. -- Seriously, my face was like >_<. I sat there for about 5 minutes and not even a turtlehead. This was frustrating, and even though the book I was reading was fairly interesting, I didn't feel like sitting on the can waiting for my carrots to digest so I could shit it out.

So I decided that I would just ignore the feeling.

This is where things turned bad. 10 minutes later, all of a sudden as I was sitting at my computer, there was a blinding pain. It was like... A massive hurting. You know the pain that hurts so bad that you dont know exactly where in your body it's originating from, but you just know that it's bad?

Yep. That kind of pain.

I ran to the bathroom, in hopes that I could exorcise the demon of pain from my body.

I sat down and there was an A-bomb explosion. A mushroom cloud in reverse. Words cannot express how much shit was expelled from my body due to my excessive eating of carrots and apples and rice. It must have been all the fiber.

Thinkin I had finished and I started to go for the toilet paper when all of sudden, completely unbidden to me there was ANOTHER explosion.

Needless to say, when the ordeal was done, I was completely spent and had to take a nap.

..and the moral of the story is that I can't tell the difference between hunger and diarrhea.

Posted by Kim at 04:27 PM | Comments (9)