Name: Kim
Age: 21
School: UCI
Men have called me mad; but the question is not yet settled, whether madness is or is not the loftiest intelligence --- whether much that is glorious- whether all that is profound --- does not spring from disease of thought --- from moods of mind exalted at the expense of the general intellect. -- edgar allan poe

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July 27, 2005

Hell

Which is more hellish?
Hell, or your own mistakes forever?

The common Western conception of Hell is burning flames and torture by demons, zombies and other creatures that relish in people's... discomfort.  At least, that's what I understand from movies.

...Pretty shitty ending for one's life -- especially if you're being sent there simply because you don't believe in the Western God.

However, as I was reading "Play", a play by Samuel Beckett, in which the characters are in a purgatory, living a part of their life over and over and over again  -- I began to think...

Wouldn't it be even more hellish than the common conception of hell if you had to live your life's worst mistake over and over for the rest of all eternity?  I mean, seriously, at least if you are tortured by demons, a part of you can think "Fuck, it is kind of unjustified that I'm being tortured by demons for all of eternity just because I made a few mistakes in my life... it's not like I did this to anyone" (That is, if you weren't a demon torturer yourself... but that's besides the point.)

The reason I think that would be the worst is because if you were forced to live your worst mistake over and over [the one you regretted the most], you'd know you deserve it -- because you're the one who made the decision to make the worst mistake of your life in the first place.

I don't even believe in Heaven and Hell, and I think that's fucking scary!

I just know, when I die, I'll have to live with the the thought "Shit.  I shouldn't have gone all-in in heads up with Jack-Ten off-suit." for the rest of all eternity.

What do you think is the most hellish? 
... and if hell were my version, what would you be forced to live with for the rest of eternity?



*note, i am actually only reading "Play" by Samuel Beckett, which can be found online
here

Posted by Kim at July 27, 2005 12:59 AM

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