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January 08, 2005
Nerds, Geeks, Bullies
This forum has a poll entitled "Are you nice to the so called geeks/nerds?"
A lot of the replies sound like the following:
QUOTE(bad_girl @ Jan 8 2005, 12:37 AM)
respect them (nerds/geeks) but dont stand up for them. becos if i do.. i'll be the joke for the rest of the year. but everybody deserves our respect!!
The thread itself, and the incensed me to no end
This was my reply:
Shit, all these bitches in here that are in high school / middle school and all that bullshit.I WAS that nerd. I WAS that geek that got picked on. Got teased. Got gum put in my hair. Nice to know how all you fuckers who think you're 'cool' talk about the 'nerds' as another freakin RACE or some shit like that.
Nice to know that you don't stand up for them when bullshit happens to them in class just because you're afraid of being a joke.
People who don't take action for others are just as bad as the people who are doing the fucked up things. Sometimes worse, because you know better and you're not taking the initiative to be a better fucking person.
You know what, fuckers? That NERD probably goes home every day and thinks about killing himself/herself because they're fucking all alone in their fucking misery.
IM OUT BIATCH!
Now that I'm a little calmer...
I feel like I can really get down to the point and rant to this in a more rational manner.
This thread really pissed me off for the following reasons:
It talks about 'NERDS/GEEKS' as an label
I didn't like the way that they used 'nerds' as something that encompasses a group of people though they don't point out exactly what 'nerds' means. 'Nerd' can be construed in many different ways to many different people.. The way this post/poll makes it sound is that a 'nerd' is an entity similar to race -- a group that these 'geeks/nerds' are a part of regardless of whether they want to or not.I wonder how they would react if I made a post "Are you nice to the so called 'white people'?"
It doesn't make it any better that everyone [except a select few] continue on talking about 'geeks/nerds' in the same manner.
It didn't have a choice for 'I am a nerd'
So apparently, geeks/nerds are not allowed to vote? I see, only the 'cool' people are allowed to post in this thread.It showed me a side of human nature that I haven't seen since I left middle school
aka my own experiences with bullies
I think the thing that bothered me the most about this post was that it took me right back to middle school. To my busstop in John D Morgan Park.
Every morning in 8th grade, the bus would come and pick us up and take us to the temporary school we had been ported to because of our own school's rennovations. Every morning I woke up, walked 2 blocks, over an overpass, turned right and walked another half block to the busstop.
Every morning I arrived, looked for my friend Cheyanne, and tried to start talking to her as soon as I could.
Every morning I feared the arrival of two people. I still remember their names like it was yesterday, even though I haven't seen them in close to ten years. George A**. Damien G********.
George was also in 8th grade. He was a stocky/buff bodytype guy who wore baggy jeans and plaid button down shirts. He had slicked back hair, and a head similar to the shape of Homer Simpson. He was one of the 'cool people' of 8th grade.
Every morning George would poke fun at me, push me, and say things to me until I cried [or at least he tried to]. I know this sounds like the type of things that happens when a boy likes a girl, but trust me, this was just pure maliciousness. Every morning I would stand there and not reply to anything, tears heating up the back of my eyes, my jaw clenched, wanting to say something, ANYTHING. It was never of my nature to have quick and witty comebacks. Especially when I am incapacitated by anger, embarassment, and negative feelings.
The other person, Damien, was even worse. He was a scrawny, tiny little 5th grader who probably got picked on by everybody in his class. He had glasses at least half an inch thick and three inches in diameter. Probably seeing how I just took the abuse from George, Damien took it on himself to fuck with me as much as he could. I was pushed around, had gum put in my hair, and cussed at by this kid.
I never did anything. Already depressed and having thoughts of suicide every night, trying to deal with my parents getting divorced, getting over bronchitis, feeling like an outcast, and being made a prisoner in my own home, I couldn't bring up the strength or courage to retaliate back.
So, by the time we were on the bus and almost to school, I was either crying or on the verge of tears.
In the end, I have to say, I probably didn't get picked on every day like I remember... The scars are deep, though, and I remember my feelings so poignantly that just telling it here makes me want to cry.
So, if you're reading this, and you are George A** or Damien G********, I have one thing to say to you:
FUCK YOU, BITCHES!
Posted by Kim at January 8, 2005 05:50 PM
Comments
Just passing by, and I agree I too am a nerd and I remember looking for that very same option. That thread pissed me off too, bringing me back to my JHS and HS days. Anyway just have to say, looking through your webcam pics, you look nothing like a nerd. You're sexy, and very beautiful. Anyway I bet if one of those assholes who picked on you in middle school were to see you now they'd try and hit on you rather than make fun of you, then you can tell them to fuck off. lol Anyways nice site ^.^
Posted by: Oscar at January 8, 2005 07:22 PM
Posted by: George at January 8, 2005 07:40 PM
Hi, this is Xquizit from CB. I just read your entry and just thought I'd say that I do identify with you completely. Don't worry about the ignorant fools on CB. You must learn not to take them so seriously. Belive me, I've been there for a while and I've been quite irritated by some of idiotic and ignorant posts on there. I've spoken out about some of the topics but I've realize some people will only come to their own conclusions no matter what I or anyone else says... especially if they're below the age of 13, which unfortunately is the majority of CB it seems.
Don't let it get to you.
Anyhow about the "nerd" thing. I was picked on throughout elementary school and middle school and even high school but I don't regret the experience because it's definately made me a lot stronger and even more outspoken about when are disrespectful. No one should EVER take shit like that. Since you and I have experienced that, we both have a better understanding of evils of human nature and it teaches us to be kinder to others.
Posted by: Roxy at January 9, 2005 06:59 AM
@Oscar: Heh, your last sentence totally reminded me of how one year guys could be picking on this girl that is deemed a "unattractive" one year and then the next they're all drooling when she becomes the hottest girl in school... Of course the part that sucks is when she almost instantly forgets all the shit they put her through years prior and joins their little clique, leaving the friends that had stood up for and been loyal to her for so long... Okay, yes that's from a personal experience of mine and it's like a totally cliche teen movie plot, heh.
@Kim: Of course I 100% agree with you, if I had went to school with ya, I wouldn't have put up with those asshats doing that stuff to you. I'd have been your nerdy, loser knight in tarnished armor! :D Umm, was gonna say more, but uhh, don't wanna say it here, heh... Plus I gotta go... Later!
Posted by: DC at January 9, 2005 08:06 PM
who cares, lifes goes by, now you're hawt =D. anywayz can't believe no one stuck up and kick that guy ass. or at least you could've kick him in the nuts or something =p
Posted by: kama at January 9, 2005 09:23 PM
your experience was moving and a bit deja-vu"-y", too, in a sense. when i was a still a somewhat nerdy 8th grader (puberty was good to me), a nerdy girl not unlike yourself used to catch quite a lot of shit. on the bus one particular spring morning, i was fuming at having left my TI-81 (an obsolete graping calculator) at home, when the unctuous ringleader of her torture literally squashed gum in her hair with two hands. i proceeded to crack him in the skull, shattering his nose, and his head flew back catching the edge of an open window resulting in a laceration requiring several stitches. i was thrown out of school (though re-instated two weeks later) and my parents had to pay for his medical expenses. the point is i wish she were you and he was your george or demian; for what that's worth. all the best to you.
nerdily yours,
Posted by: Rob at January 12, 2005 09:13 PM
I know the feeling. I had a friend from 3-5th grade. He was my friend after school and before it, but during it, my worst enemy. I was the ONE outcast. Always picked on and made fun of, but I was hella smart. I would get some witty comebacks every once-in-a-while, but enough. I feel really bad for what you have gone through, I'm sorry, just letting you know I can relate. I was still a nerd through middle and high school, too. Still getting picked on some and ugly, not good looking or buff or even close.
And yes, like the others said, you are very cute and extremely attractive. You have an awesome body and you couldn't ask for more in looks.
Now I'm tearing up..I should go :)
-Matt
Posted by: Matt at January 13, 2005 10:43 AM
